Mediation & Conflict Management – Part 2

Sometimes a conflict can erupt without you having anticipated it or been able to defuse it. Whether you are an actor in the conflict or simply a third party impacted by the conflict (colleague, manager), you can take action. First, work on yourself by adopting the constructive attitude that will keep you in line and deflate the conflict. Work on your environment by positioning yourself as a mediator with all the talents that this posture requires. Finally, thanks to this conflict experience, you can decide to set-up a conflict-free work environment: shared values, empowerment, getting out of power struggles, etc.

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Adopting a Constructive Attitude in Conflict

Thomas and Kilmann present 5 attitudes of conflict management along 2 axes. In conflicts are you more determined in the pursuit of your own interests or more motivated to cooperate? Are you more of a shark, a turtle, an ant, a teddy bear, a chameleon? We naturally adopt a privileged attitude when faced with conflict. Each attitude has its advantages and disadvantages. 

It is impossible to make decisions, to clearly set limits, to manage conflicts with others if we are inhabited by internal conflicts. 

We hesitate, we doubt ourselves, we regret our choices, we say “I am divided”. 

In this video, first, we will understand the mechanism of this inner tension, then how to listen to our conflicting aspects and finally how to make the best decision. 

Sometimes you have to know how to refrain from managing conflict with words. 
Words that often go wrong in verbal ping-pong where everyone returns the ball, each to one end of the table, fueling the competition. The good intention to want to settle the conflict by the word is not always the most appropriate.
It may be wise to bypass the mind, this mind which is sometimes obsessed with its need to settle and resolve the conflict with arguments and strategy.
Here are 3 conflict avoidance tactics: silence, empathy, and distraction. 

Managing employees and customers intelligently means anticipating the difficulties and resistance that will inevitably punctuate your meetings. Because some people are difficult, because some subjects are delicate. We will deepen the management of objections and the use of counter-questions to facilitate your meetings in difficult contexts.

Rosenberg, after many successful experiences in conflict resolution between communities (racial, socio-economic and even political conflicts), teaches in NVC, Non-Violent communication, a method of conflict resolution based on the expression of one’s emotions and needs. The DESC method (Description, Expression, Solution, Conclusion), which is inspired by non-violent communication, is a shortcut to this method.

Do you prefer to be right or to be happy ?
“Things are neither good nor bad. but thinking makes it so. We are victims of the narrowness of judgement we pass on the world” wrote William Shakespeare. Here are 5 steps (4 questions and a turnaround) used in coaching that will allow you to shake up some certainties that do not serve you.

Being an adult is : Having the wisdom to discern what we can change, changing what we can, and accepting what we cannot change. 

Accepting what we cannot change; this is what we call letting go.  

You have been through a conflict that seems to have resolved. How to be sure and how to manage this post-conflict?
Here are 3 tips: validate that the solution is satisfactory for all over the long term, consolidate the way out of the conflict by contract, indicator and monitoring, and finally capitalize on experience to progress.

Arbitrator or Mediator : Managing a Conflict as a Third Party

Conflict management can be done by different actors (involving an arbitrator or mediator, for example). It can take the form of autocratic or participatory decision-making.
Conflict management can finally follow different modalities: the choice of avoidance, the resolution of the conflict by the intervention of power, or by following the rules and finally the management of conflicts by reconciling mutual interests. We will detail all of these conflict management alternatives in this video.

The mediation process begins with individual discussions between the parties involved in the conflict and the mediator.
Then the parties will meet, always in the presence of the mediator, who will help them find their own solution to the dispute.
Professional mediation is developing more and more within the company itself. In this video, let’s describe the benefits of mediation and the role of the mediator.

What is the manager’s role in the conflict? Is it possible to be a manager AND a mediator? Or at least to be a manager with mediating skills?
In the first part of this video, we will see the essential and irreplaceable role of the manager in conflict prevention. Then we will see how to be a manager – mediator, juggling the paradoxes of these 2 positions.

You think you’re a good mediator because you’re a good manager? Not necessarily. Mediation requires the development of a high level of relational intelligence and skills that are sometimes the opposite of those of the “leadership” that is so popular in companies. Here are the 4 essential qualities of the mediator: be structured, remain neutral, be actively listening and trust others.

Mediation is an ideal process for companies as it allows them to find a quick internal solution to blocked situations and avoid court congestion.
In this video, I will describe 10 key points of mediation, whether it is “formal” with the recruitment of a professional mediator, or more “informal” with the internal intervention of a third party with mediation skills.Content

Jean Poitras differentiates between treatable and non-treatable sources of conflict. The source is what led to the conflict, it is the underlying problem. As long as the source is open, as long as the problem is not solved, the volcano of conflict will continue to grow and spew its lava.
In this video we will talk about the 3 “treatable” sources of conflict. And I will give you some advice on how to treat them in the best possible way.

How can you get a senior and a young person of generation Z to work together when they are struggling with unshared values? How to cooperate with a hyper-anxious person? How to manage the conflict that stems from the economic crisis?
Some sources of conflict seem insurmountable because we lack the leeway to stop the irritant.

Conflict arbitration is one of the major roles of the manager, when mere mediation is not considered or conceivable. The manager will be able to turn the conflict into an opportunity to make the teams grow and bring better results in the company.
In this video, we will see the advantages and disadvantages of arbitration and the main steps of a successful arbitration process.

Creating a More Collaborative Work Environment

65% of large companies now have a document in which their values are mentioned (agreements, charters,…). Even if most of them are accepted by employees, are these values implemented? And can they facilitate collaboration between employees or even avoid internal conflicts?
In this video, we will see the benefits of implementing values in the company and how to put them in place.

They are called ethical, relational, deontological charters, Charter of Values or courtesy charters. They have gradually developed over the last ten years in the corporate world.
Similar to a code of good conduct, these charters complement the company rules included in the internal regulations.
Let’s discover in this video what forms these charters can take, what their legal value is and how to implement them.

Most projects take on the colours of transversality, forcing departments to work together, … and making them interdependent in their actions and innovation.
How can we encourage cooperation between departments whose organization and culture are sometimes at odds with each other?
Here is the presentation of a practical tool, the Mutual Commitment Charter. It will make inter-departmental cooperation more fluid and facilitate the resolution of conflicts between different entities.

What is it that often creates conflict in teams?
Unclear roles and responsibilities between colleagues or in a manager-managed relationship, or even in the relationship with customers. Both are sending back each other a case.
Or they want to be the only ones responsible for a file.
Here are 3 solutions to avoid the conflict due to this lack of clarity of roles and responsibilities.

Employees say that the top-rated company, the one where it’s really nice to live, is their own company.
While waiting for everyone to set up their own company, in this video I suggest 4 keys to minimize dissatisfaction at work and avoid the spread of conflict.
Authorize divergent thinking, Be clear and transparent, Consult before deciding, And focus on cohesion.

Opening Paradigms Beyond Conflict

The culture of competition has been fuelled since our childhood by the scoring system in school and sports activities. Many companies continue to cultivate it: to be the best employee, to be the leader… 

While other companies are wary of the atmosphere that this competitive culture can generate internally.

We will see in this video how to get the best out of competition, the attitude to adopt in front of a competitor and finally how to move from a culture of competition to a culture of collaboration.

Generations Y and Z want or even demand greater freedom in the form of autonomy and / or flexibility.
As for the older generations, they are sometimes irritated by this demand, because they find the liberation that the Ys and Zs grant incompatible with the corporate world.
In this video we will explore what these younger generations expect in terms of autonomy and flexibility and how to respond.

How do Freedom-form companies deal with conflict?
In a “classic” company, employees in conflict logically turn to their superiors, who will either help mediate or settle the dispute.
In the Freedom-form company, conflict management follows rigorous and extremely empowering processes. 

Most relationships are imbued with an imbalance of power, a relationship of domination that inevitably leads to conflict, whether open or latent. In business, domination is even enacted. We will explore in this video why we seek power and enter into power games: to feed our need for achievement / recognition, our need for freedom and our need for energy.

We spend a lot of energy in power relationships with others. Whether we are the dominated, the dominant or both, we play psychological games that we are rarely aware of and which wear us out. Now let’s analyze how fear, pride, envy, compassion, and finally admiration… can influence us to the point of making us dance under the domination of the other person, until inevitable conflict.

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