Should we wait to have self-confidence before asserting ourselves? No! It is by asserting ourselves that our self-confidence can grow. Confidence measures our perception of our abilities. Assertiveness is not a subjective measure, it is a behaviour, an action. It’s a decision. The decision to get out of one’s comfort zone despite the risks. The decision to ask, to express our desires and needs, or to set boundaries. This course will give you the keys to develop an assertive attitude towards any person (even the most aggressive and conflictual) and in any situation you are going to encounter. And others will say “It’s incredible how much self-confidence they have! » when talking about you.
Would we find ourselves in the middle of a conflict if we asserted ourselves healthily? My answer is “no”. Asserting ourselves in a healthy way, within a respectful and equal relationship with others, prevents us from giving in to the dance of conflict, even if the other person is urging us to.
I am going to describe the basis of this quiet affirmation (this assertiveness) through the concept of life positions (OK/not OK) inspired from Transactional Analysis.
What attitudes do you adopt by reflex when communication starts getting tense?
How do you behave when you are in the middle of a conflict? Do you slip into flight, aggressiveness, manipulation or do you choose healthy affirmation?
This video will describe to you the 3 ways of communication that will lead to a dead end. And furthermore advise you on the 3 attitudes that you need to deal with in order to reach assertiveness, a healthy level of self-affirmation.
In this video entitled Getting out of your comfort zone (part one), we will look at what the comfort zone is and the benefits of staying in it. Then we will analyze the locks and tensions that keep us there.
Finally, we will describe all the advantages of leaving this comfort zone to enter a creative zone.
Stepping out regularly of your comfort zone will evidently help you make one discovery after another, as well as better manage periods and situations of stress and change.
You will be accustomed to facing unusual situations that require adaptability and self-confidence.
In this second part about Comfort Zone, we will study the antidotes, the strategies and gains we get from stepping out of the known and routine zone.
What are we playing at?
Relationship difficulties and conflict, often take on the form of a several act tragedy, in which we play different scenes.
Arguing, fleeing, complaining, accusing, arm wrestling or looking for support.
Are we victims, rescuers or persecutors in this psychological game that is the dance of conflict? Do we move from one role to another without even realizing it?
Do you express your wishes to others? Do you know how to ask?
If you don’t ask, you are depriving yourself of the chance … to receive! Daring to ask is one of the bases of assertiveness.
Here are the 3 keys: being clear about your request, lifting self-censorship and being prepared for all scenarios.
It is not that simple to address the person in front of us and express our request
So here are 3 tips to help you take the plunge.
The first key is to make regular requests (even small ones), the second is to formulate positively your request, and the third is to let go.
Many conflicts emerge because we do not know how to set boundaries. We don’t know how to say no like adults because we lack the self-confidence. Or we say no too late or too aggressively, so conflict erupts.
In this video we will first see why we don’t dare to say no, then how to say no to a request and finally how to say no to an attitude that doesn’t suit us.