Adopting a Constructive Attitude in Conflict

Thomas and Kilmann present 5 attitudes of conflict management along 2 axes. In conflicts are you more determined in the pursuit of your own interests or more motivated to cooperate? Are you more of a shark, a turtle, an ant, a teddy bear, a chameleon? We naturally adopt a privileged attitude when faced with conflict. Each attitude has its advantages and disadvantages.

It is impossible to make decisions, to clearly set limits, to manage conflicts with others if we are inhabited by internal conflicts.
We hesitate, we doubt ourselves, we regret our choices, we say “I am divided”.
In this video, first, we will understand the mechanism of this inner tension, then how to listen to our conflicting aspects and finally how to make the best decision.

Sometimes you have to know how to refrain from managing conflict with words.
Words that often go wrong in verbal ping-pong where everyone returns the ball, each to one end of the table, fueling the competition. The good intention to want to settle the conflict by the word is not always the most appropriate.
It may be wise to bypass the mind, this mind which is sometimes obsessed with its need to settle and resolve the conflict with arguments and strategy.
Here are 3 conflict avoidance tactics: silence, empathy, and distraction.

Managing employees and customers intelligently means anticipating the difficulties and resistance that will inevitably punctuate your meetings. Because some people are difficult, because some subjects are delicate. We will deepen the management of objections and the use of counter-questions to facilitate your meetings in difficult contexts.

Rosenberg, after many successful experiences in conflict resolution between communities (racial, socio-economic and even political conflicts), teaches in NVC, Non-Violent communication, a method of conflict resolution based on the expression of one’s emotions and needs. The DESC method (Description, Expression, Solution, Conclusion), which is inspired by non-violent communication, is a shortcut to this method.

Do you prefer to be right or to be happy ? 

“Things are neither good nor bad. but thinking makes it so. We are victims of the narrowness of judgement we pass on the world” wrote William Shakespeare. Here are 5 steps (4 questions and a turnaround) used in coaching that will allow you to shake up some certainties that do not serve you.  

Being an adult is : Having the wisdom to discern what we can change, changing what we can, and accepting what we cannot change.
Accepting what we cannot change; this is what we call letting go.

You have been through a conflict that seems to have resolved. How to be sure and how to manage this post-conflict? 

Here are 3 tips: validate that the solution is satisfactory for all over the long term, consolidate the way out of the conflict by contract, indicator and monitoring, and finally capitalize on experience to progress.